word to the wise

try not to get pregnant during a planned bathroom renovation. especially a master bath renovation, adjacent to the place where you sleep...and keep you clothes, and dress, and do laundry, and keep all the stuff that used to be in said renovated space.

i am trying to keep my cool and not have a total control-freak meltdown, but i swear there is drywall dust hiding in the deepest darkest corners of our house, escaping all my attempts to get rid of it, waiting for a day to come out and spread itself all over my bed. and just when you can say "well, this is sort of clean and livable," the next day you come in to find that work has been done to create more dust.

i think what doesn't need to be said here is that, despite my overall emotional calm (with the exception of my weepiness around babies and baby subjects), you can say that i'm having one of those pregnancy freak-outs.

this has been an on-going project for about a month now. and that is a very long time to be put out of your bedroom. to have who-knows-what floating through the air and landing on your sleeping textiles. and to have to cover all of your belongings with sheets and blankets, which then, invite a surface for laying tools and plumbing fixtures on, as if there are not personal belongings under the sheets and blankets. little known fact about me: i have slight fear/obsession with air quality (i hold my breath when i walk behind running cars, or when walking through a cloud of cigarette smoke), and pregnancy has not made that any better. i am convinced that with breathing all of this, that somehow my baby will suffer. that he or she will be born with asthma or underdeveloped lungs or something else of the respiratory sort. toxins. toxins, everywhere.

are these rational fears? probably not. am i a little bit of a control freak? it's not unlikely. but still. that does not create within me some newfound patience or acceptance for things out of my control. it just makes me want to pull my hair out.

so please. pray for me and my sanity. and pray that no other tropical weather systems come through with their 90% humidity, causing everything to take 3 times as long to dry. and pray that this thing is finished by the end of next week. please. please, God, please. please. i am not learning any lessons here. i am only going slowly insane.

in other news, i have an ultrasound on friday. i'm hoping little monks stays modest and doesn't give away whether he or she is a he or she.

i also made a very terrible nutritional decision today. i was caught off-guard when my boss came in to work and immediately grabbed us for a pow-wow. before i knew it, it was 1:15 and i had become more hungry than i can remember being at any one point in my life. my muscles felt similar to the way you might feel while trying to drive a tractor after running 5 miles. i broke out in cold sweats. i don't remember anything that was said to me. i was shaking. as soon as i could i got in my car and drove to the shortest fast-food drive-thru line i could find. which was whataburger. and they were advertising patty melts. and i ordered one for $5.35 (not the meal, mind you--just the sandwich). it was delicious while it lasted. that was 8 hours ago. i am still regretting it.

the end.