almost half way

well, i'm over 19 weeks. and we had an ultrasound last week! above is my favorite picture. it's not so skeleton-y and you can see the perfect facial profile. i'm a little obsessed with that cute little nose. the ultrasound lasted a long time (partially because i didn't want the torture of drinking as much water as they wanted me to before going in, and therefore they made me drink it when i got there). while there we got to see flips and rolls and waves and feet. it's such a reassurance, because even though it's pretty apparent that i'm pregnant, i don't feel a whole lot yet. seeing all that movement was like "all that's happening inside my body?!"

but i am starting to feel more! especially at night when i lay down, and in the morning when i really wake up and really have to teetee. i guess since my bladder is so full there is less room for baby and i can feel more?? i don't know. all i know is i like it! it's surprising how emotionally attached i am to someone i don't even know yet.

i've also come increasingly interested (perhaps mildly obsessed) with pregnancy, the birthing process, and early infancy. i want to know everyone's birthing story. i want to know what it was like when the moms in my life were pregnant. i want to know everything. and people aren't as willing to give up their experiences with me as i would have thought :) every time i see a pregnant woman i want to stop her and invite her over for coffee.

i've also become increasingly opinionated. this is no surprise. i don't claim to be a non-opinionated person. or a non-stubborn person. i don't surprise myself. but i understand the birthing process is something very personal, so for that reason i don't really like talking about it with people. first of all, i don't want to offend anyone. secondly, i understand (despite what everyone might think) that birth doesn't always go as planned. i know this! i promise i do! but i also think that there are a lot further measures you can go to in order to protect your birth plan. i've done so much research. watched a lot of videos. but i haven't experienced it yet, so that's why i'm still pretty private about it. i don't claim to be a pro! when baby arrives and i have time for blogging afterward, then i will divulge :)

i want to know though--is this normal? do pregnant women do this kind of research? or do they just go to the doctor, call the doctor when they're in labor, and go to the hospital and just have a baby the way everyone around them says it should be done? i think it's vitally important to not only know your body and what it's capable of, but to also know the process and know your options. it's never a bad thing to do research and i don't think you can be over-prepared for such a life-defining moment. i've even had fathers tell me that the absolute best moment of their life was seeing their children arrive into the world. wouldn't you want that to be as special as possible? (somewhere someone is going "yes, but safe and special"--i know, i get it.)

ok i'm done.

also. h&m has maternity clothes. and i bought myself a pair of skinny maternity mint jeans. oh yes i did!