you hear the phrase "stepping out in faith" so many times. but you never know what that actually feels like until you do it. i heard a quote this week that said "where your comfort zone ends is where your life begins," which i think, sums it up pretty well: being completely out of your comfort zone, but knowing it can only lead to good things.
God never asks us to do simple things. he never asks us to do easy things. he also never asks us to do things that would seem possible by our own standards. all the memorable stories in the bible are memorable for one reason: God used an unlikely candidate to do something that would otherwise [without God] be impossible. HE MAKES THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE.
i had consulted God for a long time on a decision, and moved towards the decision i felt like he gave me. but when the constraints of the world came into play, i realized that it was IMPOSSIBLE to do what i felt like he was calling me to do. so i said no, left the dream, and took control of my own life.
but do you know what is SO amazing? although i stopped consulting him, although i did not go to him, he came to me!! he used nearly every method possible to tell me "turn around girl, you had it right the first time." after a couple of days of complete strangers nearly making me cry with their words of wisdom, i had enough. i don't have enough fingers to count how many ways he used to tell me i had it right all along. far beyond coincidence. much deeper than happenstance.
God gave me the first night of a full 8 hours of sleep in weeks, and i woke up with one thought in my head: do the thing you know you have to do. it is done. and when my sweet, sweet fiance arrived and saw the look of anxiousness on my face, he knew as well. and i, as the future wife God has called me to be, knew the final decision rested in his hands. and you know what he told me? to move forward. to do what we had earlier decided was impossible.
and i did it. meekness is not something that comes easy to me, but i knew that meekness was something that i needed to successfully move on from where i was, to the next chapter of my life. and it just so happens that i have studied meekness not once, but twice in the last month or so. and you know what? i may not have been the prime example of meekness, but i think i did a pretty dang good job. especially for me.
and now, my new life begins.
the fear i had this morning is gone, i have had so much positive encouragement, and i know that things will be ok. no matter what happens.
today i have much to be thankful for. first of all and most importantly i am SO THANKFUL that i have a God and Savior who makes all things POSSIBLE. a God who loves me, has plans for me, and cares for me like a true father. i am humbled beyond belief. i do know know where i would be without him. i cannot imagine a life knowing i would have to make such huge decisions without a divine caretaker to back me up and to make a path for me. a wonderful provider, the most beautiful designer and loving father. what is it that i am, as a person, that i deserve someone who is SO faithful to me, when i am not faithful to him? and the answer is nothing. i have done nothing. it is simply because i am HIS.
i am also thankful that he has provided for me a WONDERFUL husband. people have little faith in marriage these days. i don't assume to be an expert in marriage. and both he and i have witnessed failed marriages. but i cannot think of a better place to start with him than right here, in unison with God and his plans for us.
pray for us, friends. pray that those who doubt us will not plant a seed of fear in our hearts. pray that those who wish us failure would not create a resentment in our marriage. and pray that we continue to seek and RUN after God and the plans he has made for us. because he wishes us good, not harm.
after all, if God is for us, who can be against us??
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